"Hamtractor" (johnny-bullet) 07/19/2019 at 12:59 • Filed to: None

8

22

This is the e-mail I sent to the bosses at work. With above photo attached.

All,

Recently, an email went out explaining that non-plugin vehicles were not to use the two spaces by the charging station. Therefore, my guys and I do not park there, despite the availability of these spots when we come in. Yet the owner of this crapwagon six-cylinder wannabe musclecar parks there every day. If we can park there, we will because of the huge premium on shade around here, but I just want to make sure… I know that both Ivan in the wireroom and Parker from upstairs both drive plugins, and usually only one of them can park in these spots due to rule-breaking, lawless violators like this guy… What’s the word from the Wesco Parking Enforcement and Orthopedic Footwear Council? I personally believe that those who spend actual US Dollars on six-cylinder “musclecars” should probably be reported to Homeland Security as potential Communist infiltrators, but that is probably best left to The Council…

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 13:08

1

I fully support both the language and sentiment in your email.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 13:14

6

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

functionoverfashion > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 13:24

2

One of the university police officers routinely parks in the 15-minute only space that’s conveniently located right next to the police department. All day. It doesn’t help that it’s a quad-cab F-250, but even if it was a Vespa it would be rude.

He hasn’t been doing it lately, I wonder if he finally got spoken to by someone on the Third Floor. But there’s an event going on with weird parking situations all over the place. When things return to normal, that’ll be telling. 

Hamtractor > haveacarortwoorthree2 07/19/2019 at 13:27

0

I tend to send a lot of e-mails like this, in a similar flavor on a variety of subjects.  I will start sharing them here on Oppo!

punkgoose17 > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 13:27

2

The communist solution would be to drag this car out of this spot and have it shot leave it in the middle of a road.

Hamtractor > punkgoose17 07/19/2019 at 13:44

1

But we are not Communists, the operator of this vehicle is the suspect ed Commie.  The American solution is to send countless e-mails, create a focus group on parking relations and have the Commie driver on the View to explain his role in the Trump Collusion case.  Once he gets that book deal, he’ll be a capitalist like the rest of us and buy a car he can’t afford without 144 month financing.  If he truly assimilates, he’ll probably be streaming his Fortnight escapades by Christmas.

punkgoose17 > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 14:01

1

But the driver is already the best capitalist . T here was a free parking space and he took it and utilized it for gain despite any opposition. He drives a V6 muscle car because electric cars and foreign cars are for Commies . It may be a v6 but looks are the only thing that matters in capitalism . Looks Sell. Special parking spaces are for Commies, electric cars, handicapped, and pregnant women are weak; o nly the strong will survive; only commies would believe in a collectivist ethos and a society and helping others.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 14:50

1

Plot twist: the owner of your company own it

Hamtractor > punkgoose17 07/19/2019 at 15:06

0

That’s exactly what a Commie sympathizer would say. This is Arizona, USA , where winners get the good shit and losers park their half-baked FCA products in the damned sun. Only a damn Commie would think otherwise.

Hamtractor > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 07/19/2019 at 15:10

2

The owner of my company is an anonymous Austrian man who lives in Monaco with several dozen concubines and just as many Swiss bank accounts...

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 15:14

0

How do you get his job?

Hamtractor > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 07/19/2019 at 15:34

0

It’s not a job, it’s a way of life.  He’s too busy riding jet skis with super models...

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 16:15

1

I agreed with your email, until the part about V6 Muscle cars.....

Urambo Tauro > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 16:22

0

Fair’s fair. If nobody’s going to enforce the rule, you might as well take the spot for yourself. They’re obviously not serious enough about it  to tow you. ¯\_()_/¯  

Hamtractor > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 07/19/2019 at 16:55

0

While I too am actually a big fan of V6 options from Ford, Chevy and most of the rest, FCA sticking that Pentastar lagwagon in a boat like the Challenger is outside of my approval...

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Hamtractor 07/19/2019 at 16:58

1

Eh, the V6/8-speed Chally is plenty of fun and makes a fuel efficient daily driver, I’d gladly a V6 Chally over a Cam/Stang with the little motors.

I have to ask, have you ever actually driven one?

Hamtractor > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 07/19/2019 at 19:14

0

I have actually driven the Camaro and the Challenger, one right after the other rented each for about three weeks. The Challenger was a great road trip car, drove it from Denver to Lake Tahoe, then Sand Diego, Moab and back to Denver, I definitely liked the boatness. BUT, the Camaro was a much better driving experience on the twistys in the mountains, and felt faster everywhere. Honestly, I have never cared for Mopar stuff, and FCA hasn’t helped that issue. I haven’t driven the V6 Mustang, but I have driven the Ecostang, and it was sweet, I’ve just always been a Camaro guy...

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Hamtractor 07/22/2019 at 07:08

0

The point of the Challenger isn’t a track car, it’s about having a comfy cruiser that happens to have some chops behind it. The CamStang may be quicker/better handling, but they’re terrible cars to live with in comparison.

If you go into it expecting a Sports car, it’s no wonder you’re disappointed, it’s not meant to be a Sports car.

Why the FCA hate? Serious question, I mean they took the Challenger and gave it an awesome interior, same for the Charger/300/Grand Caravan/etc. They continually tweak their chassis to make them better driving while not losing sight of the goal. Frankly, I’m happy FCA took over, Mopar was in bad shape after Daimler raped them 6 ways from Sunday.

Hamtractor > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 07/22/2019 at 08:38

1

“ The point of the Challenger isn’t a track car, it’s about having a comfy cruiser that happens to have some chops behind it. The CamStang may be quicker/better handling, but they’re terrible cars to live with in comparison.”

Agree, but like I said, I just have too much Camaro love in me...

As far as the FCA hate, my experiences have only been with a 2005 Dodge 1500 4x4  and a 2008 Charger. Both pre-FCA products, but terribly unr eliable, poorly built crapwagons... I admire FCA for taking the lead in the horsepower wars, just not a fan of their overall product line. It’s not really FCA, it’s Mopar. The Hemi is cool, I guess, if you like lifter slap after 40K.  My love for GM motors and trannys makes it seem like I hate everything else, but I dont.  Most of my V6 Challenger hate was just for the comedic requirements of the e-mail.

Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness > Hamtractor 07/22/2019 at 10:11

0

2005 Dodge 1500 4x4 and a 2008 Charger.

Funny how experiences can be so different. There’s an 06 1500 4x4 ( 4.7L no less ) in our family that’s currently at 240k miles and has needed nothing outside regular maintenance, it still looks brand new inside and out. My ma had a 2010 Challenger that was the same case. Much like my hatred for Toyota thanks to one vehicle that completely ruined them for me.

I will agree that Daimler era Mopars were a crapshoot compared to the pre-Daimler Mopars like mine, they tended to just feel cheap all around. I will give FCA a lot of credit for bringing Mopars back to being nice places to spend time.

I also give them credit for being one of the only brands offering multiple “enthusiast” vehicles across their lineup, while still having affordable options instead of just building a hoard of boring CUVs like most manufacturers.

Hamtractor > Long_Voyager, Now With More Caravanny Goodness 07/22/2019 at 11:41

1

“ I also give them credit for being one of the only brands offering multiple “enthusiast” vehicles across their lineup, while still having affordable options instead of just building a hoard of boring CUVs like most manufacturers.”

This is factually correct, and I approve this message.

Hamtractor > Hamtractor 07/22/2019 at 12:15

0

I have a buddy at Hertz, so I get to rent good stuff for econo prices...  My favorite rental so far, aside from the Escalade that I paid Elantra rates on, was the Durango GT...